Cheeses and What I Know About Them

There are few things in life that can make even the worst day a little better. Cheese happens to be one of them. Cheese can change your everyday foods - and almost always for the better. There is a reason that there is such thing as a "Cheese plate" and a "Cheese and Wine tasting". Cheese is fabulous. Of course, if you're lactose intolerant...well... I'm sorry. Funny story. Did you know many lactose intolerant people BECOME lactose intolerant in their adult life because they eat too much dairy? That's the world's way of saying LISTEN ... I know cheese is FUCKING DELICIOUS but chill out and don't eat so much.

So here is the little bit I know about cheese at this point in my life and career as a home cook. I hope these descriptions help you make wise cheese decisions when faced with an array of cheeses you can't even pronounce.


Gruyere: (Prounounced GROO-YAIR). Origin: 1795–1805; after Gruyère district in Switzerland where the cheese is made. This cheese is a new discovery for me. A recipe from my new-used Yankee cookbook called for it...and I try to trust recipes when they name particular cheeses. This cheese has a deliciously mild and milky taste. It's a harder cheese. It's absolutely perfect with wheat thins, and would go great next to grapes or possibly apples. Sprinkled on top of a baked casserole or quiche it becomes richly flavorful. A revelation for me...cheese wise.

Creme Fraiche: (Prounounced: KREM FRESH) Origin: French for "fresh cream." I was supposed to get Fontina cheese for one of my recipes and for whatever reason I was just like "Oh. Yeah. Creme Fraiche, Totally... that's what I need." Turns out...it wasn't. But it was an AWESOME mistake. This cheese is still in its fresh, squishy creamy form. It makes any dish you might normally add milk into...well, delicious! Creamy pasta sauces, mashed potatoes, even sugared with a little strawberry on a bagel? Sure why not!

Gouda: (Pronounced: GOO-DUH) Origin: Named after Gouda, a city in the North East of the Netherlands, where it originated. I must be honest: I've only ever had Smoked Gouda. So perhaps my judgement is a little skewed. Smoked Gouda, at least, is a rich cheese. It's mildly soft, similar to Gruyere, and pairs really well with crackers. I imagine, in its regular form, it would pair extremely well with fruits as well. But I'm not sure what else I'd use it in. This website suggests using an aged Gouda in Mac & Cheese, scalloped potatoes or on a pizza. Come to think of it I've definitely seen a lot of Gouda Mac & Cheese recipes. Perhaps worth a try?

Romano & Parmesan: (Pronounced: ROH-MAH-NO and PARM-UH-ZAHN (not PARM-EH-JAHN) Origins: Romano - Roman, Parmesan - from Parma, Italy. Both are dry Italian cheeses with strong flavors. Romano is made with sheep's milk, and Parmesan is made from skim cow's milk. Both are absolutely perfect in cheese sauces or with pastas or sprinkled on salads. Everyone is familiar with Parmesan cheese, but give its friend Romano a try next time you're doing an Italian dish.

Cheddar: (Pronounced: CHED-ER) Origin: 1655–65; named after Cheddar, village in Somersetshire, England, where it was first made. You're thinking "Oh. Cool. Cheddar, I totally know Cheddar." But do you? There are so many different varieties of Cheddar! Go to your basic cheese aisle in any grocery store. There's Mild, Sharp, Extra Sharp, White... Where do you start? Which one is the best? What if your recipe just wants CHEDDAR and doesn't specify what kind!? Oh God! Well, take it from me. MOST Cheddar cheeses are totally delicious and you really can't go wrong. The only one I take exception to is mild Cheddar. I don't like it. It seems to try to have the flavor of a full Cheddar, but fails miserably and just ends up halfway there and milky. Bleh. My genuinely favorite cheddar is made by Cabot and is Seriously Sharp White Cheddar. I have to warn you this is a STRONG cheese. But it makes an amazing topping for spaghetti, or a delicious grilled cheese between hearty wheat slices. It's great on crackers, or even in cubes by itself! This cheese can sucker punch just about any other cheese in a fight. Oh yeah.

Havarti: (Pronounced: HUH-VAR-TEE) Origin: 1957-62; < Havarthigard, farm in Denmark. Havarti is a cow's milk cheese. It's a mid-range cheese. Not too mild, not too strong. It is my number one "Cracker cheese". You can get all kinds of variants of this cheese. Dill is my favorite, but the garlic variant is good too and I'm sure there's others that are delicious. This cheese is also a sandwich cheese, so you can get it at your deli. Put cubes of this in piping hot tomato soup, or in a grilled panini-style sandwich. Or just eat it on crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Chèvre: (Pronounced: CHEV-RUH) Origin: from French chèvre meaning goat. This is a really broad term and it is essentially any cheese made from goat's milk. HOLY EW you think? No way! This stuff is SO delicious you can barely stop eating it even though you know you've had like...5 servings. This cheese is super soft and goes well with almost any flavor. It's mild and creamy. My best experience with Chèvre is a blueberry variant on Triscuits. I am not sure how else to use Chèvre, but aside from telling me how it's healthier than cow cheese with fewer calories (awesome), this website suggests using it in place of sour cream on your baked potato (ok!) or in lasagna.

Cream Cheese: (Pronounced: Do your best) Origin: Probably France or England since those have the earliest references..but no one knows for sure as far as I gather. Everyone knows cream cheese. Everyone loves it. Everyone sits puts way more than 2 tbsp on their bagels. Try this, though: mix it in mashed potatoes, smother a baguette and toast it with some chives, mix it with marshmallow fluff and eat it with strawberries! The possibilities with cream cheese are endless. And it's delicious. 'Nuff said.

American Cheese: Origin: AMERICA! So the sad part is that American Cheese is not even, by FDA standards, real cheese. BUT when its creamy processed goodness is overflowing from your grilled cheese and turkey in the skillet, or dripping down the sides of your juicy AMERICAN burger...you just think to your self...My country tis of thee...Sweet land of American Cheese...of thee I sing! Then you know it's alright.

Brie: (Pronounced: BREE) Origin: France, from Brie. Brie is a soft cheese a little bit like cream cheese except richer in flavor and matured, so that it doesn't need to be eaten fresh like cream cheese does. It's famous for being paired with wines and fruits (hey, nothing wrong with that!) but works in more or less the same way cream cheese might work. Spread it on anything. Toast it. Make fondue. Yum. Just don't try to make cheesecake with it...I don't think that would turn out too well for anyone (especially not your test subjects).

Well that's MOST of my world of cheese at this point. There is still a lot to learn, and believe me, I'm pursuing with reckless abandon.

As an interesting sidenote: Google Cheese in Google Images and 70% of the photos are Mac & Cheese.